SO I GUESS I'M A WRITER ...

What a crazy crazy week I have had! Talk about Highs & Lows, Swings & Roundabouts, Ups and Downs! Half the time I haven't known if I am over here or over there. I have been so disconnected from myself most of the week that even people I know are saying thngs like "You look lost." How right they are - I have never been so lost! I suppose it started on Tuesday when the phone bill came in. That, like the gas, elecricity, water and Council Tax, is higher this year than it was last year. Hubby is working all the overtime he can get but we still never seem to have enough money. This has made me see that the likelyhood of me changing jobs and reducing my hours this year is feasibly zilch. And with that realisation came the full force of complete dispondency, which metaphorically plunged me into the most despairingly bleak depression it is possible to go and still retain an element of humanity. I lost my appetite, all I wanted to do was sleep. And sleep. And sleep. And I didn't care, that is the really scary thing. I didn't care. I do remember one thought ringing in my mind over and over again, though. It was this: If I can't give it everything, I can't give it anything. My writing career had shuddered to a halt and was effectively over. The new Yuck book was abandoned. I steered clear of my blog and my journal. I went onto the WW site to say goodbye to everyone and resign, I was that serious. But when I got there, guess what I found? It was the interview I gave to WW some time ago about my writing. It was at the top of the home page and it came out and hit me with so much force I almost reeled from it. Not only the interview - but comments from fellow members, all telling me how inspiring they'd found it. It moved me to silent tears, I can tell you.



So of course my writing career isn't over. And with that inkling of hope came a fresh burst of energy. I scrapped all three of the Yuck 3 drafts because they were all completely wrong. But the fourth and most perfect one flowed from my pen inside an hour and it is this one that I shall email over to Sarah the Publisher on Sunday. Then a letter arrived from Hubby's Aunt Amy - a very private lady - especially for me, congratulating me on the publication of the first Yuck! I have, she tells me, joined the ranks of successful family writers since three of her children are all published authors - a fact I never knew (and I am not sure Hubby did either!). And tonight an email from Sarah the Publisher. Yucketypoo is being considered for a board game and would I please click on the link to the manufacturers to get a feel of it. So, sweet, loyal, supportive Blog Buddies, what is all this telling me do you think? Is this just another exceedingly high point on life's rollercoaster? Will I ride it a while before it goes into yet another rapid decline? Will there ever be ink in my pen again? Or will there be further blots on the future? Who can know? And how long should one wait to find out, I wonder ........